a safe space

Understanding
Self-harm

Understanding the feelings of stress and anxiety and how to cope with them

With the right support you can find your way forward

Life can be really difficult and things can feel out of our control

Often we can manage this and we cope the best we can.

If this stress goes on for a while, or something big happens, things can build up and feel too much.

You might try distracting yourself, or hiding your feelings, hoping they’ll go away. But you can become overwhelmed and struggle to keep your feelings hidden.

Signs of stress might be:

feeling under constant pressure
being jumpy or anxious
getting angry really easily
feeling like we just can’t be bothered.

We’re somehow expected to control these feelings or not show that we’re upset.

If we don’t know what to do with it all we might do things to hurt ourselves as a way of coping.

Try not to be hard on yourself if you do self-harm - see it as a sign you’re struggling and need support.

If any self-harm breaks your skin and causes injury, it’s important to keep it clean.

When we’re stressed, our negative inner voice is often louder than our positive one. If you can, try to hear how you talk to yourself.

We’re often much kinder to our friends than to ourselves and wouldn’t judge or shame them the way we do ourselves. How might you speak to a friend who is feeling like you are?

Talking to someone

Talking to someone is getting support and can really help, but can feel very hard to do, when the things you need to say feel private, scary or embarrassing.

A trusted friend or adult is a good place to start.

You might be worried about how people will react to you. It’s true some people may not know what to say or do, but there are people who can listen and understand, and who won’t judge you or try to stop you. Keep trying until you find the right person.

How you feel isn’t ever wrong

It’s really important and OK to find ways to let these feelings out – in ways that don’t harm you or others. It can release the pressure and feel better, it also lets people know how you really are.

If you’re afraid you might do something to harm yourself, it’s important to find a way to safely share your feelings & get support.

Did you know crying releases similar chemicals to self-harm!

Some facts about feelings

No feelings are ever ‘wrong’ – even those we don’t like very much.
Feelings are always there for a reason. If they don’t fit with what’s happening now, they will fit with something that happened in the past.
Your feelings matter, no matter what they are.
Sharing painful feelings is what helps. It just takes time.
Feelings usually pop up uninvited – and can make us feel out of control.
We often call difficult feelings ‘bad’ and we hide them from others and ignore them.
You matter – so sharing how you feel with someone who cares is always good
Sometimes we don’t know why we feel the way we do – talking can help.

Your school will have someone that you can talk to confidentially about your mental health concerns or the concerns you have about a friend.

Your class tutor
Head of Year
Mental Health Support Team
Mental Health Lead
School Nurse

If you are feeling uncomfortable about this you can use the feelings resource (PDF) to help communicate how you are feeling.

If you don’t want to involve your school or college, you can also get confidential help from other professional organisations local to you here.

Everyone has the right to feel okay and to get help if you don’t – you don’t have to leave it till things are really bad!

Find help and support with these Apps

Calm Harm

A free app providing support and strategies to help you resist or manage the urge to self-harm.

Tellmi

A free app fully-moderated community where you can share your problems, get support and help other people too.

Find a service near you so you feel safe to talk

Select your area below to see a list of confidential services within your borough.

Kingston

South London Partnership CAMHS Crisis Line:

Call: 0203 228 5980

Open: 9am – 11pm, 7 days a week

Out of hours: Call NHS 24/7 on 111 and select the mental health option.

If there is an immediate risk to life, call 999 or attend A&E.

For more information:

CAMHS Info

Jigsaw4u

Providing a wide range of specialist mental health and wellbeing services that support children, young people and families across South West London.

Understanding the feelings of stress and anxiety and how to cope with them

With the right support you can find your way forward

Life can be really difficult and things can feel out of our control

If this stress goes on for a while, or something big happens, things can build up and feel too much.

Signs of stress might be:

Try not to be hard on yourself if you do self-harm - see it as a sign you’re struggling and need support.

Talking to someone

How you feel isn’t ever wrong

Some facts about feelings

Your school will have someone that you can talk to confidentially about your mental health concerns or the concerns you have about a friend.

If you don’t want to involve your school or college, you can also get confidential help from other professional organisations local to you here.

Everyone has the right to feel okay and to get help if you don’t – you don’t have to leave it till things are really bad!

Find help and support with these Apps

Calm Harm

Tellmi

Find a service near you so you feel safe to talk

South London Partnership CAMHS Crisis Line:

Jigsaw4u

Off the Record

Free2B

South London Partnership CAMHS Crisis Line:

Jigsaw4u

The Well Centre

Free2B

South London Partnership CAMHS Crisis Line:

Jigsaw4u

Off the Record

Catch 22

Jigsaw4u

St Mark's Family Centre

Merton Safeguarding Children Single Point of Access

South London Partnership CAMHS Crisis Line:

Jigsaw4u

Off the Record

Off the Record

Sutton Children's First Contact Service

South London Partnership CAMHS Crisis Line:

Croydon Drop In

Off the Record

South London Partnership CAMHS Crisis Line:

Mental Health Support Team in schools.

16+ Young People's Service

Multi Agency Safeguarding Hub (MASH)

Jigsaw4u

Change Grow Live (CGL)

Anima Youth

General Services

The Mix

Kooth

Shout

Be Headstrong

Young Minds

Alumina

Rape Crisis South London